Fighting about Weight Struggles

Losing weight has always been a sore topic for Luke and I in our relationship.

When we first met I was 19 and weighed around 140. I was active all through high school. I played volleyball and ran track. I ate whatever I wanted and never had to go on a diet. After I got out of high school the sports and exercise quit and the drinking and fast food late nights began.

We were both young and living the life of working just to pay the bills and beer tab.

But years went on, time flew by and pounds started pilling on slowly but surely.

I remember a time walking into Aeropostal and not being able to find a pair of pants to fit me because the largest size they carried was a 16.

That’s when the battle began.

I always complained about being fat and wanting to lose weight. Luke had to listen to me every 3 or 4 months talk about how I was going to start this diet and then see me fall off the wagon 30 days later.

This went on for several years. Then before I got pregnant I swore to Luke this would be the time I got skinny. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Then Lakelyn was born and all I wanted to do other then take care of her was sleep. I lost all my baby weight and a couple pounds more 6 weeks after she was born (thanks to breastfeeding). Then time really started to fly and before I knew it we were a few months from signing Happy Birthday to Lakelyn. When Luke proposed in September I knew it was now or never. You only get married once (well you hope) and pictures last a life time. I knew it was time to get in the best shape I could before walking down that aisle.

Luke has a high metabolism so his need to work out is once a month to maintain. Or more than a month to tighten up. He is not fat and will probably never have a problem with weight. See how this can be frustrating, he poops and loses 5lbs, I look at McDonalds and gain 10lbs!

His idea of motivating me was making suggestions of what he thought I needed to do. “Why don’t you go to the gym and workout” (as I am sitting in the driveway with a beer in my hand). “I think we should only eat soup for a week” (not all of us are happy eating the same thing over and over again). “It’s really nice out, why don’t you go for a run” (umm its 90 degrees out and the birds are sweating and there sitting in the trees!).

My point is that his way of trying to motivate me was making suggestions. And the easiest way for him to piss me off was to make these suggestions. So Aunt Flow would come around and I would get back on my soap box of pitty me I am fat. He would start talking and I would get mad and world war 9,999 would start. He would try to explain that he only wants me to be happy and I would take it in the wrong way and get mad and more emotional. Luke hated hearing, “I think we should talk.” Because that meant I am being overly emotional and you’re going to suffer for it!

Fast forward to now. I know what I have to do to lose weight. Get my butt off the couch and move! Only I can change my body.

I asked Luke the other day, “do you care that you have to get up a little earlier now to take Lakelyn to daycare so I can work out in the morning?” His response was, “no because it’s the one way I can support you and you not get mad at me.” That’s when it clicked for me. He is absolutely right. By him helping out around the house and with Lakelyn he has allowed me the time to get my workout in and not feel guilty.

I am truly blessed to have him in my life. He has stuck through all 5,000 of my diets and 9 million emotional “I am fat” meltdowns.

I am proving to him and most importantly to myself each day that I can lose this weight and keep it off!